You're the only memory in my heart...

 May 24, 2022

RALPH F. GARZA

October 4, 1947 - May 24, 2019

    I made it!!!  For a while there I wasn't sure.  The Pandemic, politics, and everyday challenges seemed to loom over my days.  In the beginning, the first six months, I was able to get my life back together with the help of my family and friends.  Enough to help me stand up and survive. I spent four months in Colorado with my daughters.  I journaled, ate, slept, made snow angels, played with my fur grandbabies, took walks and somehow I managed to find a glimpse of who I am.

    I say a glimpse because by the following year my PTSD had totally blown up.  I reached out to my doctor and she found me a therapist and I began that year plus month's journey into the Rabbit Hole.  Since then I'm not the only one walking in widow's shoes.  Too many of my friends are walking with me, missing their life partners, the loves of their life.  It saddens me because there is no way you can prepare for the absence of someone who IS the love of your life.

    In the beginning it felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me...no more wind for the sails that powered my body.  I missed talking to him, accompanying him, his Ralphie stories...his touch.  I tried, but going down that Rabbit Hole was too tempting.  At least when I went into the Rabbit Hole I could feel my emotions but it became wallowing in my sorrow.  

    I know God definitely carried me in those days.  God did what he does best.  He guided me to  everywhere I needed to go.  I have to thank my therapist for showing me how to climb out of that hole.  But I will be truthful, I occasionally still dive back in.  Deep into the hole where I relived the pain, the loss, his smell, where I could see every inch of him as if he was right in front of me.  I was looking for something, my someone.

    Amidst all of this I found I was trying to find me...not the old me, nor the young me, neither the hurting me...but the me that never gives up, that knows about death and is not afraid, that sees and hears the truth including the lies, with no judgement.  Desperately trying so hard to remove my desire to join my sweet lover.

    I realized it was too easy to forget about the journey and why I was in it.  There were still many roads for me to choose from, many faces to befriend, responsibilities, and my children and grandchildren were also waiting for Abuelita to snap out of it. That day came when I got infected with Covid - the Omicron strain and I was reminded again why I wanted to live.  

    So here I am.  It's May 24, 2022, Ralph's three year anniversary.  I still see and hear that last day we said goodbye. I would like to know the secret to saying goodbye because as often as I have, I am still tempted to go down that Rabbit Hole.

Jigi, I love you and you know even though I am alone, I am not lonely.  I still have so much love in my life through our beautiful daughters, our grandchildren, my brother, my sister, my wonderful, wonderful friends. God blesses me.  Your memory is still so present but you know all these things.  I'm going to ask you to help me.  These last few days I've taken the steps to truly step up and step out.  But I want to add an additional element to my efforts...only you know what that is.  I will not be afraid.   You and God know my heart.  There is still so much love in my heart BECAUSE OF YOU.

I leave you with my three favorite songs...  You know why..

 

                                             

    (Note:  These songs are by Asian artists.  Except the first.  I fell in love with their music.  I don't know their language but the music and even the sounds of these unknown words heal my heart and my soul.)

My New Routine...

Update!  We are right at the beginning of a pandemic.

Life is SOOO very different for me now.  Well, "La-di-da," you say.  You have no idea.  But here it is, almost 10 months since my "I got your back hubby" passed away.  He was my buffer from the world, people.  Let that sink in.  There is no more buffer!  No more tempering my emotions with, "Its going to be ok, babe."  Those days are over.  Its "you're on your own"...but looking around, looks like everyone is on their own.

Extra note:  That's sad because everyone needs to have someone that's always there for them.  For me, it was my husband, Ralph (also my best friend) and my best girl friend, Dee Dee.  They died  within five months of each other.  I am still reeling.  Some days more than others.  Unless you're partnered with someone, this is probably the worse time to be single (alone).  Thank God for friendships.

I will not rant and rave about politics and what got us here.  Regardless of what you think or thought it was, we are all in the same boat.

My whole purpose of writing today is to express how the mixture of fear, anxiety and adrenaline has manifested into my new routine.

I am currently without wheels.  My car is being worked on.  Not a good time when you consider that regardless of the time change (which I deplore) we are all on the same schedule now.   For some reason we are not completely shut down so there's plenty activity going on on the outside.

I normally shut down for Lent.  I like to take time to reflect, meditate, focus on where I've been and where I'm going.

This Lent is very different.

The obvious one...Ralph is not here.  There is semi chaos going on in the outside world.  I say semi because I'm just describing what I have witnessed via grocery shopping.  The other is just from reading because this year due to the Coronavirus (Covid19) pandemic most states and cities are shutting down.  I can still feel the chaos going on in politics.  Smh  So I decided very early to hunker down.  I have self quarantined. I began my provision shopping early and carefully.  I'm good, I think, until I discover, I am out of COFFEE!.(Not so good after all...)

I have some of the best neighbors and friends.  They will drop whatever when I'm in need.  They're just like Ralph (Reflection:  Wow! Still looking after me.).  Today was different.  Everyone was tied up.  I would have to venture out myself.  Finally, I found someone.  My brother-in-law would be my guide.  (If I sound like I'm on a reconnaissance activity, its because it felt like one.)

My routine now:

I chose not to bathe (I bathed last night.).  I dressed comfortably, no jewelry, no makeup, packed extra plastic gloves, grocery list, grocery bags and my lotto slips (I'm Texan).  Knobby honked the car horn and I checked for intruders through the cameras before I opened the garage door.  I rushed out and made sure the door shut securely.

First store:  H.E.B.  Its 1:30 p.m. and there's a line about 100 feet outside waiting to get in.  We go off to Walmart.  No line at Walmart but everyone is walking around suspiciously.  I begin to get nervous.  This is not my store.  I can't and don't know where anything is.  We split up and plan a rendezvous at the cash register.  The timing is perfect.  We check out.  We have made it out with no casualties.  Or have we?

The garage door is still  secure when we arrive.  I quickly get off enter the code and we quickly close the steel door behind us.  We split our groceries. As instructed, we wipe them clean.  I make sure my brother-in-law exits safely.  Time to get to work.

As the door closes, I spray the garage with Lysol.  I enter through the laundry room, remove all my clothes and place in the wash.  I start the wash, spray the laundry room and make a dash for the bathroom where a nice shower with hot running water will wash away the nervousness I arrived with and whatever corona bug I may have touched base with. (God forbid.)

I take a long hot shower, gargling hot water intermittently and scrub.  It felt so Soylent Green.

I dressed in my comfy bata. I feel better but weak and exhausted from the ordeal.  I  don't think I want to do this again, although, I remind myself I have a prescription that's going to be ready soon.

This, this on the edge anxiety is not for me.  I look around, Peggy Sue by my side, everything, for just an instant, is OK.  Then I realize...I'm out of Lysol!!

Signs

There has been so much loss lately.  Friends and family leaving us before we know it.  Adjusting to life without them has become a daily task.  But through the tears, the sadness comes little signs that say they're still with us, still loving us.  Its what consoles me.  Signs not just for me but for friends and family who loved him   He's still  letting them know how much he loved them.

It has been difficult to put my life  back in order since Ralph's passing.  I can sense him, I hear him...and occasionally I dream of him.  Its been an onslaught of nothing but tears.  In between the tears are the smiles and laughter of the small little nuances, signs that I know were my husband.

Its been less than two months but when you're alone in the house you shared, it can become a prison of sorts.  For months prior, my brother, Arnaldo, was by my side, picking me up taking me to his place so I could recuperate or taking me to lunch just so I could have a break. Now, he calls me throughout the day checking on me, loving me.  It was hard watching Ralph's health decline and not understanding.  In the end there was relief that he wouldn't be suffering anymore.  But that was it...everything: that he wasn't suffering anymore.

My daughters, call me, Face Time me and make it known they are more than present in my life.  And when I can no longer go  on, they lift me up one more time.  My friends have also  rallied around me.  I honestly don't know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for their love and their presence.

These friends and family members that have been so  present in my life know they have a permanent place in my heart...I say it now because we don't say "I love you" often enough, hear it enough, show it enough.

I also lost my best friend in December, too.  Dee Dee was my confidant.  The one I could tell everything to and not get judged.  And I told her everything.  The only person equally trusted was my husband.  So with their passing my security of who I am went out the window. I am trying to find my way back.

Days after Ralph passed away, Cynthia, my childhood friend since kindergarten, called with  news that John Edward would be in Corpus Christi on July 19.  She purchased VIP tickets for the both of us.  Cynthia, lost her son, Kevin, 21 years ago.  We share the same interest in John Edward and Teresa Caputo.  Cynthia has attended their events before.

As the days wore on waiting for July 19,  it seemed I was becoming more crippled, no direction, afraid of my own shadow and unable to explain anything that I was feeling.  As the date approached, I was convinced I wasn't going to make it.  I needed to travel to Corpus Christi and it had been years since I drove long distance and I have my fur baby, Peggy Sue, a Jack Russell, that hyperventilates anytime she is in the car.  Ralph always drove.  To make matters more difficult, my car was having its issues, too.

As the date got closer and closer, I felt that something was pushing me to break free.  I needed to make this trip for various reasons.  I decided to drive on Thursday, spend the night and the next day with Cyn.  I decided I would try to make it comfortable for Peggy Sue and purchased a seat belt harness.  Best purchase in a while.  It gave me the control to keep Peggy secure.

My brother made sure my car was OK.  Next day, I checked oil and transmission fluid, packed my bags and Peggy Sue and off we went.  It was a beautiful drive. So many changes.  Oh my gosh!  Checkpoint is huge!!!  And all the construction that had been happening on the route I was taking was completed.  Who knew?   I made it and I was not a total wreck!

Cyn was the best hostess...we talked and celebrated.

Friday would be the day we had been looking forward to.  Two years prior, I remember sending out to the universe that Cyn and I would get to see John Edward one day and we would have communication from Kevin, not knowing that my Ralph would no longer be with me.

Friday afternoon, we ventured out and visited Kevin's grave site.  We parked and as we walked towards the site, a swarm of dragonflies took flight, hundreds of them.  Cyn remarked how many there were all around us.  Cyn cleaned their beautiful family headstone and seat and we sat and talked to Kevin for a bit.  A small tree planted by Cyn and Tom provided a tiny shade and it was hot! In the silence, we were hopeful we would  hear something at the event.

As we drove off, I saw a grave site with the name John Edward and I remarked to Cyn, "Hey, look its John Edward on the headstone...what are the chances...?  And just around the corner, in the next section was Selena Quintanilla's grave site.  Cyn stopped and pulled over and I got to visit Selena!

So we readied for the event.  Somehow we didn't get the announcement that opening was at 5:30 pm, we arrived shortly after 6:00 pm thinking we were early and even though we had VIP tickets, its first come first serve.  So we sat in the front row, but off  to the side.  Everyone is hoping to make contact with family members that have made their transition and sitting in the front, well, you hope.  We are hopeful, too.

Well, the first contacts were amazing and equally amazing to watch John Edward do what he does best...communicate!  Alas, our family didn't command contact so we were left with the last thing on the agenda and that was picking five people to ask questions.  Cyn, was the last one picked.

Cyn's question was that she never dreams of Kevin and he doesn't speak to her in dreams while several family members have had that experience.  John Edwards explained that their communication doesn't always come the way we want it to.

" For instance", he said as he looked around at the audience, "Where are my penny people?"  About a dozen raised their hands.  "Where are my butterflies, feathers...?"  More raised their hand.
"Where are the red cardinals?...dragonflies, and the last, ladybugs?" 

He continued, there are the flashing lights, blinking lights, pennies, dimes, but they come to you, seen by you, experienced by you.  He said when his mother died when he was 19,  he kept asking her, "show  me you love me." "Show me you're thinking of me...etc."  "It can be exhausting." he said.  But make no mistake they are around you, watching over you, being a part of the love that surrounds you.

It was clear to me,  Kevin had communicated before the event.  And as John Edward explained to Cyn how they communicate there was a light, high up in the ceiling, on the opposite end of the venue blinking away.  As soon as he finished his answer, the blinking stopped.

While there are hundreds of skeptics abound, I know and have always known my family members have always been communicating with me as I'm sure some of  you, too, have had that experience.  Those are the secrets I share with my best friends.   That I am  different.  I know when someone lies and when they are devoid of love.   I do know when someone is leaving.  There are signs...always.  It still doesn't prepare you for the pain, the grief, nor the loneliness.  But if not immediately,  you will know, you are not alone.  They are with us always.

I completed my journey...to change direction.  I don't know where to but I know God will guide me.

On my return drive, a flashing light showed up on my dashboard between Chapman Ranch and  Kingsville. There was nothing to pull into.  I didn't want to stop off the freeway so I waited until I got to the corner of 77 and 285 in Rivera.  I pulled over to the side at a restaurant parking lot.  I got out my Owner's Manual and looked up the symbol.  It was the trans axle according to the book.  I called my brother, (my cousin Rene Corpus and David Davila were on standby just in case...) told him what was happening and he gave me the its going to be OK. (That's what Ralph always said to me.)  I put the book back in the glove compartment and as I looked up, I saw the corner garage where, Ralph, the girls and I had a radiator blow right at that corner some twenty-four years ago.  It was at that very moment that it was announced over the radio that Selena Quintanilla had been shot.  We were all in shock while still trying to maneuver our way in a hissing car.  We pulled into the drive way of the garage.  As we got off the car towards the Northeastern sky, towards Corpus Christi was a beautiful rainbow.  We were all in awe.  I knew Selena was no longer with us.  Ralph had gone inside to see about our car.  Then came the news the owner somehow had a radiator we needed.

It wasn't a coincidence I visited Selena's grave site on my visit.  Everything, EVERYTHING is connected.  It was on 285 back on July 9, 1977 at 2:00 am while traveling home to the Valley,  I made a wish upon a star.  I wished to meet someone that would love me just the way I am and not try to change me.  I met that man that very night, July 9th.  It was Ralph.  We dated for three months.Without going into detail I thought it wasn't going to happen so I did the "if you love them let them go".    It was a year and a half later...  Those memories are beautiful memories


My husband married a strong woman, I'd forgotten that.   I miss him so very much but I love him more.  Thanks babe for the love, the laughter, especially our girls,  your hugs and kisses and the roller coaster ride, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Life in the mountains...of South Fork, Colorado

One of the things I do, and I'm missing, is going for my walks.  Back home, I usually walk the Bicentennial Trail everyday or if the weather is not cooperating I use my treadmill.  Unfortunately, I have no treadmill and walking, well...the hills are alive!

When I first arrived my daughters tried to make sure I was able to do some walking so we drove to Alamosa, Colorado and I walked at the nearby park.  Alamosa is 47 miles away from South Fork where I'm at.  Unless we had a trip to buy groceries at the local Walmart, walks in the park were nil.  So the next suggestion was actually walking in the hills surrounding our home.  (There are hills but they look like mountains to me!)  I have to say walking on snow is different.  The crunch, crunch of my footsteps, avoiding ice, struggling to breath and catch my breath while going up a hill, and the constant thirst, is a lot to get used to.

So we tried walking at home.  The first time I attempted to walk on the roads, I made it up the closest hill but the breathing was more than I could deal with.  We are 8300 feet above sea level.  Air is thin so it takes your body a while to get used to it.  Mind you, my room is on the bottom floor.  I have to climb stairs everyday to join everyone.  I'm thinking the stair climbing is helping but I still get out of breath.

Luckily, Adri, my daughter got an exercise bike for Christmas so I managed to do 35 minutes and still felt pretty good.  So I decided to join both my daughters on their morning walk.  So this is what happened.

At first I felt pretty good...then the first incline and boy was I out of breath...but I persevered.

Once I made it over the hill...there was another hill.  I made it, but decided I had gone far enough.  I told my daughters to go ahead but I was returning back home...I assured them I would be fine.  They walk three miles, about an hour and a half walk.   So I took pictures on my way back...

The first photo is where I'm coming down the hills again.  The second are the mountains in front of me.  (I just turned around and took a selfie so you could see the mountains.



These are the mountains in front of me as I'm walking home.  They are so majestic!  My phone just doesn't capture the majesty of the mountains, nor the peacefulness, the sparkling whiteness of the snow...I am in awe!

The house seems so far away.  Mountains to the West.

Mountains on the left side of the road.

I'm getting closer as the road curves downhill.

The town is just below the white strip beneath the mountains.

Our neighbors east of us.

Just past our neighbors on the right..

 And I'm walking...

and walking...

And I arrive at the driveway to our home..

This is where we live! 

Can you see the deer footprints in the snow?  Sometimes there's a tiny herd of about
 seven to eight deer that come into the "yard". The window on the right is my
bedroom.  There's about three feet of snow outside my window.

See the icicles?  They can get as long as three feet.  They look like long
cylinders filled with liquid silver.  When the sun shines, they sparkle so beautifully.  But
don't stand under the edge of the house...snow melts and when it melts enough, huge blocks of
snow slide off the roof.  There's a constant crash going on outside.  Took a little getting used to.

We lived in Aurora, Colorado back in 1980-1983.  Diana, my oldest, was born in Englewood, Colorado at the Swedish Medical Hospital.  It was the first snow of the season on the day Diana was born.  For years I could tell Colorado was in her blood.  She traveled and lived in lots of states...but Colorado was definitely in her heart.  She invited Adri and Joe to visit and the rest is history.  We have two families living in Colorado now.  Ralph and I are so proud of our daughters.  It was on our bucket list to go back to Colorado one day.  So here I am, minus my darling, living the dream we had hoped for.  I try to capture as much of the beauty and share it with him everyday.  We made it, sweetheart!

Life goes on...

My apologies for not sending thank you notes to each and everyone of you.  Y'all gave me strength and love in my time of need.  A "little late" but this is my effort to let you know how much it comforted me.



I've been away for a while.  So many changes.  Its sad how one minute you're on top of the world and the next, can't find the forest for the trees.

Its been a roller coaster ride these last few years.  I can't begin to tell you when exactly I entered the roller coaster but it picked up speed and didn't stop until May 24, 2019.  That's when "my world" made the biggest change.  This was the day my sweet, darling husband made his transition to a higher world.  Ralph F. Garza left our world to join all the beautiful, wonderful, family members that have gone before us.

Ralph had been ill, off and on, for the last four years or so. It has been a very lonely time for me knowing that something was wrong, unable to do anything.  Ralph did all he could, going to doctor after doctor, and in the end everything was too late.

He wanted to be cremated and have no services whatsoever.  I wanted to celebrate his life.  A life filled with so much love.  You knew if Ralph loved you, you could feel it and you could take it to the bank.  He made you feel special, like you were the only one.

That part of his life was reflected in all his family and friends who attended his rosary and services.  His classmates all the way from elementary school at Sacred Heart Catholic School in Edinburg to his Edinburg High School Class of 1965.  Your presence was overwhelmingly full of love.  Words could never thank you for thinking of him.

To  my  Mission High School Class of 1970 classmates who adopted him  as one of our  own were also in attendance.  I can never thank everyone enough nor express the feelings of gratitude for honoring him with your presence. He was loved.

To all my friends and family, Holy Spirit Catholic Church, Deacon David, Father Louis, Dr. Jesus Zavaleta and his staff, for each and every kind gesture and word you gave, thank you. To Monette Guerrero, Leo Rodriguez, Derek Rodriguez, Norma Garcia, and Greg for their kind words and participation at his service.  Thank you everyone for your generosity and especially to my daughters and my son-in-laws  for knowing what to do and doing it with grace and love.  And to those I missed, forgive me, because God knows the difference you made in this difficult time.

His death was sudden, unexpected and unwelcome even though in my heart I know he is in a better place and no longer suffering.  My heart still wants what the heart wants, his presence by my side.

For his daughters, his last words were, "Tell my girls I love them..."  They were everything in his life, his reason for living, his reason for loving, and his reason for trying to be the very best he could be.  He was a wonderful, loving father and spectacular grandfather to Scarlet and William.

And this is where everything comes full circle.  When there is death, there is also a birth.  Our family has been blessed so much.  As some of you may know, Ralph was also a Perez...on his father, Ralph P. Garza's side.  So as tradition would have it, Perez meaning pairs, our small little family is happy to announce the anticipated arrival of our 3rd and 4th grandchildren.  Samantha and Rory, along with Scarlet and William, are so excited to announce we're expecting twins.  Arrival date on or about February, 2020.  Out of respect for my daughter, I needed to wait a short while to make the announcement (not publicly anyway.).  Ralph is having a  heyday although  I'm sure he knows...

And thank God for watching over us.

Life goes on...

I woke up this morning...

Hello!

It's me, Diana...  Yeah, I'm back!  I woke up this morning with the desire to write.  It's been such a long time since I've written.  So many changes...life changes, additions, subtractions.  But this morning, after our morning walk (Ralph and I are back walking our Jack Russell terrier, Peggy Sue.), there was something different.  I can't put my finger on it but it was so powerful, I had to turn my tablet on and take pictures.

Everyday, Ralph and I check on our grapes.  Poor babies have been in pots all this time and we would watch as their fruit would get disintegrated by the passing visitors, mostly kisskadees, blue jays, and mockingbirds.  This year we had the option of covering them with chicken wire before the fruit arrived and it worked.  My first morning photograph...

I continued photographing our back yard and was reminded of our patio in back of our home in Mission.  Mom and Dad would work everyday on their back yard enjoying their patio...never realizing that one day I would be doing the very thing in my own back yard.

Ralph took it one step further.  It's a little different...but the same.  Both are tributes to God, nature, and our family.  Our back yard, well, see for yourself...

Our grotto...or meditation garden.

My mother-in-law, Aminta Mercedes Lane Garza, aka Bobo (I LOVE her and her name!) asked my father-in-law for a grotto out at Red Gate when they were with us.  The land got sold and the grotto was never built...so Ralph and I decided to build our Bobo's grotto in our back yard.  I don't know if you can see it but there's a fairly big ferris wheel on the left.  The plant (its a palm of somekind) growing smack in the middle, in  back, was given to me when Diana was born by my grandmother, Tomasita C. Lopez.  I took it everywhere we went until we settled here.  It has withstood freezes, hailstorms and all kind of sundry weather...just like she did.

We have fruit bearing citrus trees...valencia oranges, Texas Valley lemons, and Ruby Red grapefruit.  and you won't believe the yield!!  Its a reminder of my grandfather, Urbano Corpus who was a citrus/produce farmer in Mission.  His Texas Valley lemons were the best!!!   The plants in the corner are mango trees and if you look carefully at the picture of our grotto, we also have a papaya tree right next to the hoe.

Don't know if you can tell but the green bush up front of the tree is sweet basil...and the pot in front of the pineapple plant is peppermint.  I have peppermint in several pots so in the evening when the breeze goes through you can smell the sweet peppermint, plus mosquitoes don't like peppermint...and its great for a tall glass of green tea!!!

It's a jungle out there.  Believe it or not...the majority of our plants are gifts.  The big schefflera was a gift from a birdie.  One day I saw a little bitty plant growing in a pot and now its this huge plant.  Others were gifts when my girls were born, when family members passed away, some are from birthdays.  Each is a gift of love.  And when a branch broke free, Ralph or I would stick it in another pot and, well this is how it happened.

The crucifix made of mirrors was a gift from our oldest niece, Norma Flores Garcia, aka Stormy and the small church fronts on the wall are gifts from a friend, Javi Limas.

The picnic table was made by a friend and co-worker of mine, Roberto Martinez, who taught woodshop at McAllen High School.  It also reminds me of the last time our cousin, William "Billy" Zamora, came to visit us for a barbeque.  The back yard was still dirt but Billy made us laugh.  I still remember the laughter, Billy.

My back yard is a reminder of family, friends, acquaintances, and all the celebrations we've had throughout  the years starting from when it was a field of dirt and burrs.

Being in our back yard is so peaceful. There's a big live oak tree that was given to us by my father-in-law, Ralph P. Garza.  It was about three feet tall when he gave it to us.  That was in the year 2000.  It has been the corner of our foundation.  The shade it provides is awesome.  The picture I'm posting does not give it justice.  But every time I sit under Pande's tree,  I feel the love, peace, protection, most of all I feel the all embracing love only our God can give.

I hope you enjoyed my tour.  I realized my back yard WAS different from my parents.  All of my family and friends are all represented in my back yard.  Maybe back then it was, too...back then, I just didn't see it.

Sewing, the lost art...

I miss blogging.

 I stopped blogging because my computer's keyboard wasn't working right and I really have a problem writing with one finger on my IPad.  So, I finally got it all fixed...and here I am!

So to catch you up on my activities...I've been sewing dresses for my grand daughter, Scarlet.  I haven't sewn in years.  I used to sew for my three daughters but it got so expensive, it was more economical to buy from our local stores. Now, we have the internet.  You can find patterns way less than at your local Hobby Lobby or JoAnn's.  Patterns costing $16 - 20 are $1.99.  What a surprise!

Material is expensive, too, but when you just need a yard, well...that's a steal!!

I began by cutting out my first pattern out of material that I had previously cut a dress for myself.  Years have passed, I'm not the tiny person I used to be so I decided to use the same cut material to cut Scarlet's first dress. I really didn't give it much thought so I didn't photograph the pattern I used nor did I properly display the dress when I photographed the finished product, so bear with me.

 I laid out the dress and just took the picture...duh! (Didn't think!)   I even found matching buttons in my button collection and the rest is history.

I had so much fun sewing this dress.  You have no idea how many mistakes I made - but it turned out fine.

This is Scarlet wearing her new dress to church.





I then sewed...her 4th of July dress...

and a second from another precut dress... 

 I am on a roll...but now I'm photographing as I go.

 

This is McCall pattern M5791






 
                                     

Pattern:  M6017



 

 Sewing has certainly given me the opportunity to express my creativity which certainly was in dire need of  being expressed, but most of all - I connect with my grand daughter.  We haven't been able to travel in over a year.  Ralph went through quite a few illnesses, two hospital stays, and food poisoning. And I recently joined him with my own challenge.  Last year I went through a diabetes scare causing a possible detached retina in one eye.  I got my diabetes in control for over a year and suddenly in June, I began getting symptoms in my other eye.  What a panic!  I thought my diabetes was out of control.  It turned out to be old age...  No one wants to be told that!  It's better now.  I don't spend as much time on the computer, watching TV, or all the wonderful crafts and projects that  enjoy.  I have to pick and choose and limit my time on any project.

What a time to find my love for sewing again...but I do it in moderation.  Everything in moderation...that's the ticket.  As I've gotten older, my patience for ripping a mistake or starting over is immeasurable.  Meanwhile, like I said...I'm on a roll.  Boy, does it feel good!!!

 God Bless everyone...and be kind.